On my way, I hope you have alcohol for me to blame stuff on...
you know, even black out drunk I can always remember the exact point where I should have stopped drinking.
I've decided I'm peeing in a solo cup then throwing it on his windshield. It's official. He called the cops 4 times in our first week at the house. He deserves it, right?
So roofie roulette was a success but I'm a little worried that the 2 who got the tainted beer still haven't contacted anyone...
We ate a mysterious delivered pizza which no one ordered and then the wii wouldn't work so 20 of us watched porn on two laptops. Drunk took the awkward away.
Woke up in a wet suit with my junk cut out. In a strange apartment. Just found thing biggest bong u have ever seen. WHERE ARE YOU?!?!?!
At this point I will cuddle anything to prevent from dying alone
Nothing says walk of shame like leather pants in daylight
btw im having a "its finally warm enough for a bbq in Toronto" party tonight. bring all the alcohol you have. and hamburger buns.
No but I was fuckin done when I realized my acrylic nail caught fire when I was hitting the bong.
I love getting kicked out of places. Its like winning a little league game
All I remember is receiving a lap dance to slow motion.
Why the fuck am I at this dorm meeting? I don't pay $50,000 a year to stay sober.
Grandma is high again and locked herself in the house
Just woke up next to a hungry lesbian and a half eaten croissant on my stomach. Can you come get me?
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