i realized my work ethic and productivity really improves if i masturbate on my lunch break.
Do you think people stop being hipsters when they're naked? because that's what my research shows.
This kid is too lonely to be my drug dealer.
She sucked my dick while i watched james bond. And they say marriage sucks
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
im taking a nap outside. wake me up in an hour.
way to go to work and not wake me up. when you get home youre rubbing me with aloe and giving me a blowjob. no excuses
he belly flopped onto the beer pong table, and almost boke his face, so at that point we decided swimming would be safer for him.
So how many licks to the face does it take to get kicked out of the bar?
Oh and in case you were wondering it is not a good idea to eat weed brownies and then go out to the bar. When I got off the bar stool my high had just hit me and I felt like Bambi taking his first steps
I actually bought food at McDonald's as an apology for what I was about to do to their bathroom.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You know.... I ordered the nipple clamps when I was drunk. But on further consideration, THANKS DRUNK ME I LIKE WHATS HAPPENING
You peed on a pole and declared to a cop that it was your pole and yelled at him to not even look at it, and then yelled at all of us for looking at it.
I'm going to confession for the first time in 6 years. Where do I start, the gay sex or rampant alcoholism?
For some reason drunk me always leaves sober me a banana in the morning.
Yo i still have 5 hrs left of work. I should not be this drunk
Even after hearing me fuck his friend twice in one night, he still follows me around like a puppy.
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