actually, I'm a sock model
I'd rather drink alone in my closet than hang out with that girl
she said she could "feel the heat of my groin" against her. ruined the whole fucking moment.
he said it was like fucking a big sack of slut potatoes
obviously he has no clue about college dating. it goes drunken sex then the 1st date
it was the drunk execution of a sober decision, and its much more tasteful than the first mullet
Given he decided my interview was a date, showed up drunk and insisted on carrying me everywhere, we weren't off to a good start.
Do u like your dick pics shot in hotdog or hamburger orientation?
I'm sitting in the breakroom facing a very large sign that says "inappropriate workplace behaviors", and i can't help but feel like it is directed at me
I woke up on a navy base in a different time zone. I'm never leaving tallahassee again.
Dude she tried to bite my face off last night, literally. I have never actually felt like a piece of meat until that point in life...
Too bad, iambic pentameter is a drunk specialty of mine.
Do you ever just feel the storm building inside of you that tells you you're ready for a giant indiscriminate fuckfest?
I don't know how I got home but I'm pretty sure the guy in my closet had something to do with it
So I lost my dignity between the strip club and your penis...
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