Yo dont text me then not text me
my mom just informed me my dog smells like cum
I just saw my grandmother naked. again. this needs to stop now.
I may have pooped in your shoe. or somewhere else in your closet. its unclear.
She made out with me for a free sandwich. What makes you think she is NOT up to my standards?
having my hair in braids makes puking so easy. i am being an indian every halloween
That was a $3000 rug we rolled him down the hill in.
If you're fucking that other dude, I'll take the sloppy seconds. I don't care.
Bitch, I been tryna reach you all day to talk to you about these Dorito tacos.
Make sure you have everything youll need until sunday. aka a green shirt and condoms.
When he pulled it out last night I asked if that was as hard as it was going to get. I think I may have offended him.
I spent $31 at mcdonalds last night. Threw my nuggets all over the yard, ate them out of the snow, picked a fight about it, vomited, then passed out.
Naked.
I get so many dick pics from him...He has an unhealthy obsession with his own penis...
WHERE THE FUCK IS MY ARM DO YOU HAVE ANY IDEA HOW DIFFICULT IS IS TO TYPE WITH ONE HAND
I flushed a potato down the toilet so now we have to live in a hotel.
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