Note to self: when drunk try to remember that ctrl, alt and dance doesnt exist on a keyboard.
weed brownie and a latte, breakfast of champions
Remember that foreign guy who never talked last night? He just came out of my bathroom when I woke up.
Idk yet. Trying to convince him to get a phoenix bird tattoo first
Underwear, t-shirt, bottle of Pinot Grigio and Golden Girls. I've hit a new level of homosexual.
All I remember was endless tequila and pulling karate moves from 3 Ninjas Kick Back towards the guy at 7 Eleven. Explanation?
Dude just pulled his dick out and started stroking it and making s sound like cocking a shotgun....wtf was in those e pills
'lets look at pictures of your friend's new baby' was probably the worst post-sex idea we've ever had
You decided that walking wasn't in the cards for you anymore
Dude, we apparently put a washing machine drum in that back of your truck with the full intention of making a bonfire in it.
There is a high possibility I will pass out with my hand in a bag of Doritos
I'm more heavily invested in that tequila than you are
three of my fingers are bleeding and the only thing on my phone rn is a google search of 'Allison Janney'
Philosophical question for you: is it better to go into work slightly drunk or slightly coked out?
DO NOT FUCK YOUR ENGAGED GAY NEIGHBOR!
Randomize
