I'm telling lies about you to make you look like a good person
Oh no, it isn't official until she poops.
they're making a venn diagram comparing gummi bears against gummi worms...is this what i have to sit thru to get free weed????
His best friend walked in while we were banging, turned on the light, yelled BURN, grabbed his computer to play the Thunderstruck drinking game, turned off the light and left.
I think i blacked out...but i remember licking your teeth
and yes i will spend 10 dollars on a vibrating toothbrush to masturbate but not a calculator for my test
So much to do, haven't done anything except hook up with sailors and work on my tan.
Just saw a drunk bitch in the west village peeing on a car. You are not alone.
Is biking from my house to 6th street for liquor pitchers a good idea or a bad idea
Shroomed with my best friend'a dad at his wife's surprise birthday party so you can say I have experience in the field
I used his number to look up his customer information at work. He's no longer saved as Magic Penis in my phone.
Just check with her if girls can get blown, that's all.
I just got to my parents hungover as hell. My dad could tell and said "theres only one cure for a hangover" and handed me a beer. This morning went from a 0 to 10 in an instant.
He saw me naked after our first date and still asked for a second.. so I think we’re doing good
I just apologized to a wet floor sign i walked into.
Randomize
