How wet are you?
Ever heard of a U-boat?
Skipped a towel and decided to spit the cum into his face. I now owe him new contacts.
So there's dick imprints in the peanut butter
Pretty much gone. He was in the backseat and kept whispering that his "toes felt like pigtails"
Sexual tension squid is drowning in the sexual tension
I don't know what I would do if cheese never existed
Someone's stooooned
Looked for my lighter in the console and found more tampons. Seriously. You're like a squirrel prepping for a hard winter. A menstruating squirrel.
him and the cab driver we buy e from got into a fist fight, about which show is better, futurama or family guy.
We were having sex in the gardens when the grounds keeper walked up on us. He gave me a thumbs up and walked away
He came to my Harry Potter marathon wearing a Hogwarts uniform. Of course I fucked him.
you know you're a stoner girl when you get a callus from your grinder
I may or may not be setting up an encounter with a foot fetishist just because I'm curious.
Is banging someone in the national guard considered a state service or a national one?
Do you know this guy sitting in front of us? Asking for my vagina.
My boss just offered me a vodka mixed drink at work I do not have a real job
Randomize
