dude im shwasted, kabul is not the best place for this
omh. i just found SHIT IN THE SHOWER! who the fuck does that? and why do i always seem to find it?
Come in. Grab a controller and a beer. We've got some Madden to beat.
You're the best girlfriend ever.
just went trash diving in my work clothes for weed. A&E's intervention here i come.
There's a 24 hour period after giving head where you can't eat penis shaped food without me laughing at you
"Students using Axe body spray to light selves on fire" is a real headline from a real newspaper. WHY AREN'T WE DOING THIS RIGHT NOW?
Hne relally is a cite oerfect gome. Nes awddddddddooooome.
Change of plans I'm coming home and shotgunning all the beer we have.
Blacked in riding a tandem bicycle with a stranger. We stopped for hot dogs.
I like to think of you as more a magic eight ball of my life's journey?
She walks around topless and loves making sandwiches. That's how a one-night stand turned intoa relationship
I did cocaine off my boobs last night. Then I wrote two essays and went on a run. Go me
He shit with the door open. I think that means we are in a realtionship.
he was Irish, I had to have sex with him.
Sorry you ended up in detox. It's not my fault you decided to walk downtown in only your underwater at 3am. I think the tequila took over.
Randomize
