So it's 10:55am and I just woke up on the floor in the hallway on the4th floor. There should probably be no moredrinking competetions.
Apparently I called 911 everytime Sean Kingston told me to
I decided to have standards now that i've graduated. No guys without a bed frame.
NO. NO LET HIS PENIS TOUCH YOU.
Hey, can you come over and kill me real quick
You tried to initiate "Occupy McDonald's" when the cashier didn't give you enough ketchup.
you got us kicked out of the restaurant for trying to pee in the trash can.
Went to bed with a bowl of spaghetti O's on my chest, I make my own breakfast in bed. New level of laziness
How hard is it to grasp the concept of 'I lost an impromptu saber bout and so I have to make a macaroni map of Soviet Russi, including Kazicstan'!?
You know you turned your life around when your drunk eating salad at 3 am on a Friday night
He asked me if I want to play Uber Driver, is this some new sex game or is he drunk and asking for a ride home?
Somehow my boobs came up in conversation AGAIN last night and I'm still not getting laid...
I jumped the fence at the bar last night. My dress got stuck and I ended up flashing the entire patio for a good 30 seconds.
At the 10 second mark everyone started to whistle and cheer. Free drinks all night
Basically we had a threesome in one room and a fivesome in the next room. Its what I like to call a win win situation.
You mentioned his name and i threw up a little.
Randomize
