Hey man sorry I got all grabby
I just found puke in my bra..
apparently i was just sitting there with my shirt down holding my boobs saying "its ok. its all gonna be ok"
She had to leave early so she could get ready for her high school's homecoming. I hope her date likes sloppy seconds.
I hope, cuz I was gunna get "celebritory drunk" but now I have to get "I'm disappointed drunk"
Damn you and your Monday night power hours.
That number that I thought was that dude's number...was actually my district manager's number. Fuckkkk.
Also what is the name of Americas thing where we had a holy obligation to expand westward? I'm going name my new lighter that.
No. If I hated you would get none. Then I would eat them all in front of you and laugh at your tears. Although that hasn't been ruled out for entertainment purposes. Nothing purposeful.
He'll only communicate through snapchat with pictures of him holding his cat or his dick. Bit of Russian roulette opening them in public but I did it anyway.
If waking up at 6 50 pm every day and getting invited to go have sex as you wake up is what alcoholism is like I can get use to this.
It was a blind-side dick pic.
i almost threw up on his dick. its like icarus, flew too close to the sun. except the sun is his dick and my throat was icarus
No he reached for my hand at the beach. I pretended to be a seagull.
There we go, I shall begin my attempt to achieve whore status today
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