I just gave the bartender my number in roman numerals. If she figures it out, she's worth a shot
i saw like six of her guido cousins in the jersey shore trailer alone. her family is having a dinner party for the premiere tonight.
About to find out how well alcohol and lazer tag mix.
I think his glow in the dark Star Wars sheets, at the time, really turned me on.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He's pole dancing on a heat lamp.
Just had a handjob preempted by a huge bolt of static electricity leaping from her fingertip to my sack. I hate this time of year.
Just bought all my wine for the weekend with a check at 11am. I'm almost judging myself.
I'm going to die alone in a sea of empty vodka bottles and cats.
that beer fried lasagna last night was sooo good
that wasnt beer fried lasagna, you just poured beer on my lasagna
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
she found out just an hour ago that she might have cervical cancer. either way we're watching 50/50 and taking a shot of patron anytime anyone says cancer.
He walked in at 7am saying that the police had his shoes and phone because he's being investigated for attempted auto theft.
Worst walk of shame man. They had a fire drill at 7am, had to walk out of her all girl dorm wearing my Everday I'm Hustling sweater
I was so ripped I had a natty light box over my head carrying a spray bottle out in the streets trying to give car washes.
CUT OFF ALL YOUR HAIR COME ON MAN LET'S DO THIS
My boyfriend's mom is the manager of Wendy's. The same one I took a pregnancy test in.
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