She just wrapped her tongue around my thumb.....lizard girl may be my next wife.
Night out in new white coat = success. Offered free breast exams all night, two took me up on it, woke up with one. I love medical school!!!
as he left, i held up my fist and said "pound it out" and he was like "are you serious, we just had sex..."
No I am not eating basil off your cock
Whiskey + Water + Crystal Lite does NOT = refreshing summer time drink.....
It feels like you stuck your dick in a fire and then branded the inside of me.
I will always make you feel special and slightly offended. That's my job.
He rubbed my back afterwards. I forgot how to talk and I legitimately thought I was a cat for a few minutes.
You know, we cock-blocked like 5 people last night. It's like we're her vagina goalies
Played never have I ever with high schoolers today. Needless to say they brought up threesomes so I had to make a judgement call and decided to not put my finger down
I know I'm high, but the dude in target definitely just told me that it's best to walk through every door in life like you're a t-rex....
How long until you're healed?
Physically? A week or so. Emotionally? The scars of dislocating my knee at a frat and flashing my panties to the whole crowd wi never heal.
Dilemma. I'm out of wine and I can't put on clothes to go to the liquor store bc I just got spray tanned. If this isnt white girl problems I don't know what is.
Gave a guy a blowjob in a convent. Place in hell is now secured...
My drug dealer just told me goodnight...I still don't know his name. But I guess you can say we've moved to the next step.
Randomize
