There's a technique?! I just slide my tongue around
I find it funny that "sexual harassment" contains the phrase "ass sex". Let me know what your thoughts are on the matter.
how ive managed to spend 100$ at an open bar is beyond me.
The only thing worse than listening to you two fuck all night was waking up and smelling bacon and there not being any left.
drunk me just left notes all around the apt to remind shitfaced me that i have mashed potatoes in the fridge. do not take them down if you come home before me.
I hope the doctor doesnt lift up and my shirt and listen to my lungs. I dont want to explain why I have rug burns on my back.
His beard is glorious and he smells like barbecue. Introduce me to him.
My drug dealer is making me hot tea during the snowstorm...I'm a fan.
The perfect world is just rainbows and rocknroll and good sex. With the occasional stripper ridIng a horse. I spelled occasionally right?
You're the only person I know who would be upset about making out with a girl you like. You're like a drunken Charlie Brown.
I'm at an awkward stage of not being able to tell if I wanna keep having fun or if I need to die in bed
its the first football sunday and my boyfriend isn't excited. this isn't gonna last unless he makes me snacks and brings me beer during the game.
I'm watching Russian dudes pole-dance. For research.
It's accurate though. I am legitimately passionate about pickles. I crave pickles the same way I crave sex. It is a deep rooted animalistic need
Your life is quite full of dick lately.
It really is!
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