He told me I remind him of his sister...
Was this before or after you did it?
before... I mean, it's been a long time. I just tried not to think of it during.
i could't wear that belt anymore, it was gonna make me keep shitting for the rest of the night
Ah I wish I was there to nurse you then clean up your piss-filled water bottles
for some reason the bedside piss missed the water bottle today
I can't believe all I ate yesterday was half a turkey sandwich and 20 finger licks of exctasy.
I can't get a boner in the bathroom of a buffet.
I think I might stay on campus instead of going home for thanksgiving and see how many townies I can hook up with and no one will be around to judge
It's just a matter of time. The ball is in my court. Soon to be in her mouth.
also i think i should join the bone marrow registration when im sober
If throwing a bottle across the bar, hitting a skank in the head and not getting caught was an Olympic event, you'd bring merica the gold every time
His pillow talk sucks. It was like Mr. Roger's vagina.
I like dinosaurs. I like penises. It's kind of a win win
You were yelling at the mannequin and saying "DON'T LOOK AT ME"
apparently in the middle of sex, i said "i just really love the food network i watch it every day"
If I die bedazzle my coffin please.
I blacked out after the piñata full of condoms
Randomize
