Milquetoast, coolest word ever.
nah, its part of my diet to keep track of the servings of everything i put into my body
how many servings is brandon's dick?
Almost thought it was a good idea to call his parents to thank them for having a son with an awesome dick. That high.
she said shes getting her period tomorrow so she wants to have sex now. i didnt object. it would have been heartless.
ofcourse you didnt.
NExt question... Do i wanna sleep under my palm tree
YES.
It took 5 minutes to find my bra.. in his car.
I'm just saying, asking "Are you happy with me?" during a handjob is simply unfair and scientifically inadmissiable.
What part of I'm done do you not understand? Im not going to send you sex photos to prove I've moved on..
Some days you just pee in a stairwell and go home.
I'm like 80% sure we nearly got arrested because we threw fireworks at a car
Ooo, yeah! Thanksgiving will be a blast. Can't fuckin wait for the next round of "have you found a nice young man yet?" Followed by a lovely helping of "don't worry, there's someone out there for you."
My girlfriend is pregnant with her exs baby. 2014 just became the worst year
Apparently last night I yelled "the cops were called on a mother fucker and that mother fucker is me." And then proceeded to exorcise a sandwitch.
My mom just woke me up with a cowboy hat and sunglasses on. It's 7 am and she's drunk.
all I remember is them saying he had a big dick and the next thing I know I’m leaving with him
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