He bought me ice cream and then I gave him a bj
I think that's fair trade off
listen. just hotwire a car, take off the license plate, make up a new one on a sheet of paper and go the speed limit. i do it like, at least 3x a week.
Rule #1. Nothing comes between you and fantasy sports. Not even a hot chick willing to give you a blow job
let's get her a shirt that says "i went to key west for spring break and all i got was this illegitimate child."
but then the words kidney pain and possible testicle shrinkage kept ringing in my head
It all boils down to, who else do we know that is willing to buy our friendship?
Then he kept saying sentences and ending them all with "the point of no return" even if it didn't make sense, and kept telling this other guy he wouldn't be his "wife son"
So one possible side effect of women taking Viagra is that my tongue feels swollen. You having any?
You wrote me a check. For zero dollars. For my soul. Dick.
SOME BITCH AT THE HOSTEL STOLE MY NUT BUTTER THERE WILL BE BLOOD
Stocking up on Wasabi powder. Nobody's tampons are safe.
He fucked me so well and hard that the couch slid into the Christmas tree. I had to pull branches out of my hair.
I love you even if you are fucked up. If you fall, i'll just get on top of you.
Getting knocked up by someone with a good job and a big dick, okay. I can handle that. Getting knocked up by someone who sells dildos for a living and has a tiny dick, SOMEBODY is losing a pair of balls.
My bald co-worker just chugged a literal gallon of coffee. My condolences to his kidneys.
Randomize
