Midnight walks are trippy
I tried to do that earlier, but I was alone and scared, so I stole a happy Birthday balloon.
no more hot dogs for you........
fine no more vajj for you
At a bar where three women in denim shorts are debating techniques and skillsets for wrangling goats. You stay classy Delaware.
So I just saw a commercial for tickle me Elmo furry gloves. And I thought hmm I bet I could jerk off with those. Is that a sign of deepseated charachter issues?
Dude. Hurry up. They just blessed the tequila.
He said I was trying to make the bouncer dance with me AS he was throwing me out
Yep. It's going to be us, strippers, and drag queens.
A glittery, gay, heavily makeuped, scantily dressed clusterfuck.
My chin is breaking out a bit and feels all itchy and burny like I'm allergic to something. Are you using a new lotion on your balls?
she's like a sexy human version of my cat. i can't catch her, and she keeps throwing up in the corners.
Well, at least you look pretty when you're disgusted
Almost lost a vagina lip in the great shave of '16
Do it break your family into faction start a civil war
I just masturbated at work... Don't know why but I thought you should know
I just found out how I got home last night. The bartenders found me sitting in the brush peeing and called me a cab. Have you seen my underwear?
Two questions: is there going to be a bathroom at this party, and can we fuck in it. This will define whether or not I enjoy going to parties with you.
Randomize
