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ok, stay where you are, be there soon
if you call bong hits and onion rings a party, then yeah
There is somethin about your sexuality that makes my dick do jumping jacks when I see you
The first thing they saw when they walked in was all four of our std test's hangin on the fridge....i'd be worried if they didn't think we were sluts
There is a guy dressed as Captain America in the theatre. I want to make out with him even though I have no idea what he looks like. Wish me luck, I'm going in.
Remember me drinking the vodka from in between your legs?
We haven't said piping hot jizz in awhile... that needs to come back into our conversations
You and the dog were competed for the water dish
Doing 9 month old dishes in my bath tub. These dishes literally had enough time to gestate a human child
Doing coke by yourself isn't as fun. Even when you're watching a James Franco movie.
she made me cum so hard I dislocated my jaw. I'm keeping her
I'm both gender and math confused
Despite evidence suggesting otherwise, it turns out max is 100%straight.
It went from a "chill game of beer pong" to "absinthe body shots and a tits parade" in literally two minutes.
Told you inviting her was a good idea.
Yes. I had to slow down my handjob so he would last...-and I give shitty handjobs to begin with
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