I want to stick my p in your. b.
bella threw up all over the kitchen floor then looked at me, laughed, and walked away
isn't bella the cat???
that she is
My sheets, bed, and bathroom are covered in blood. She needed 14 stitches after a trip to ER. This is the last white girl I ever hookup with.
And all I wanted you to do is stand there and sing who let the dogs out.
His fuck buddy just got fake tits and wants him to 'come break them in.' I need his life.
and then you looked me right in the eyes and said "i just really wanna pet some horses right now"
I created a photogrid for every picture he has ever sent me of his penis. Now I can see every angle at one time. THIS IS GREAT.
I have an erection and I'm about to go through airport security.
I woke up this morning with 3 phone numbers, a red Chinese New Year envelope with cash in it, and a winning scratcher all stuffed in my bra. I'd say it was a pretty successful Thursday night.
So it's official the pockets of my work apron exist solely for the purpose of secretly flipping off asshole customers and not losing my job.
if you're not jumping for joy when you see penis then you're looking at the wrong ones.
Let's be honest, college orientation is going to be "here's how to drink everclear"
Nothing like a near-death experience to start off your Thanksgiving...
just found a picture from last night.
the one of you riding a horse with nothing but a bulletproof vest on?
uhm.... no?...
The stripper started talking about murdering people....that lapdance turned dark.....
Randomize
