morning outfit: hottub soaked skirt. no underwear. someone's bandanna worn as a shirt. took me an hour to walk home. this isn't fun anymore.
I think this baby is eyeing my beer
about to tell this girl that sh'es my teenage dream. you have 15.358s to stop me.
I also referred to her clitorous as her "vagina dot" last night...probably going to be dumped soon.
just a question.. totally understand if you dont know what im talking about.. but.. do you have my funnel? i think i tucked it in to your bed last night.
some chick tossed a drink in your face at the bar last night. your mouth was opened so i think you ended up swallowing at least half of it. good job.
You were so excited to be getting 4 tickets to the Whale Rodeo.... That high
I'd like to say yes, but I nearly lost my shit when I assumed there was no back to my house. I am not strong enough for hallucinations.
She got turned on by my fanny pack full of condoms. I can't believe you said it was a bad idea to wear it to the party.
What the fuck is wrong with your family? Why do you have unfrosted pop tarts.
she wanted me to tie her up with my playstation charger cord. i kept on hoping she wasn't a squirter. those cords r expensive. could have def been a Sony commercial tho
Well, if I’m not getting dick or sleep then I’m not interested.
It's confirmed. I have two dates on Saturday, and they are both named Mike.
You ripped the leaves off the top of a pineapple then rubbed the rough skin part all over your face saying "this is how you mate with other species"
Did you really think putting a napkin over your head would make you giving him a bj less obvious?
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