I looked him in the face and asked if we could stop. he asked why. I said "I can't feel it.". ...I feel bad; I should have faked.
I just made Jack Daniels snow cones.
Where are you and why am I suddenly responsible for your taquitos?
EVERY guy that's EVER been in my vagina has texted me tonight for a booty call. Narrow it down to the greatest hits or just work in timeline order?
The sun is gonna brush it's hairy dick across my forehead in the morning, gently whispering: "you're 4 hours late for work"
He probably thinks you're playing hard to get.
Hard to get?? I'm playing leave me the fuck alone.
She's started this new thing where whenever she drives by random couples talking alone outside she yells "break up! this is your sign!"
Go christen that room with your naked body.
Moral of the story: I had sex to Back to the Future last night.
I'm in the ER bruh, I went skinny dipping last night and a cat fish bit my dick.
I'm really just disappointed in myself for having sex with a musical theater major
I have four things I would like to do over summer too... Problem is they're all roommates
By the end of our first date my penis was pierced.
Apparently I repeatedly thanked the paramedic for saving the "happy new year" beads i was wearing. that bad.
Shelly has the weirdest luck. Dude offered her a job riding a bucking bronco and it was not porn or stripping but an actual g-d cow.
Randomize
