Don't feel obligated to get back to me but I think I just fell in love with a middle aged waitress at the Dennys in waco. She's used but in good condition.
make sure you eat your skittles last so when you barf you can barf RAINBOWS.
I'm glad you enjoy my eating disorder so much.
my hippie aunt just sent me some brownies with a note saying not to eat them under any circumstances until finals are over. excited.
in my lab write-up should i mention that i watered my plant with tequila?
Am I undercharging for one hour of sex per essay? I need a serious business answer.
I believe I won the Golden Vodka Bottle of sadness last night for crying while being party boyed.
I need moral support for this bender
You don't understand. If you watched a video of the shenanigans that occurred in my life over the past 48 hours you would gasp worse than the girl who witnessed me puking in my bag at the children's hospital
He sent me a mirror pic of himself and sent it to me and all i could think about was the amazing bong hits i took with his roommate in that bathroom.
You went into the shower with my roommate and cursed him out asking why he was there
Well, he asked what my sign was, then proceeded to critique me on my beer pong stance... I really need to raise my standards.
Make me food? I don't want to be a science experiment. I'm dunk. Holy shit. Drunk*. Let's do science.
Let's drink lean at the 5 seconds of summer concert. Give the teens a glimpse into their future as dysfunctional adults holding desperately onto their youth. You in?
Your girlfriend agreed to a threesome, I saw dogs in a bar. It seems life is falling into place for us
I woke up naked in a tent. I was more upset that the air mattress had deflated.
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