Just got mistaken for a cardboard cutout ad in line at Taco Bell. New low?
The only reason I kept his number in my phone for so long is so that hed pay for my abortion.
your stepbrother is rimming his martinis with coke... keeps saying "thank god its tuesday". where does funemployment end and intervention begin?
No its cool, because I bought a handle of tequila earlier, in case things went south
the caf people were giving us weird looks and she yelled ITS A LIFE STYLE
i was congratulating myself on not falling down the stairs when i walked into the wall. it's like one step forward, two steps into the fucking wall
Just found out he cheated on me last night. But its Shark Week so I will deal with it next week.
So much beer in the passenger seat the seatbelt light is blinking
I've never been so embarrassed. It's like waking up as Fred Durst.
We're Scorpios. We're like dogs rolling in whatever smells good to us.
If I could figure out how to do him with his wranglers on you would never see me again.
Just found out that the guy I lost my virginity to voted for Gary Johnson. It's almost more upsetting then him ending up being a massive asshole.
She was shaving her legs in the neighbors pool when we found her.
Where'd she get the razor?
Not the point.
On cleanup... i've counted 94 solo cups so far.. oh, and i found a miniature top hat in the microwave
We're hate flirting, damnit.
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