Did Neil Armstrong say the moon was too far away! NO! He built himself a fucking rocketship is what he did!
Any particular reason you put 2 smashed up limes in my back pocket last night?
Yeah, it kinda sucks. But it was fun while it lasted. And honestly, his penis is way too big for my life.
He just told me that when we were doing it I told him I was the captain and he was the boat. Im too embarassed to ask for money for a cab.
if creating a fake 8 year old brother, who lives with me and has had mono for the past month, to explain why I have ignored my group project members is wrong, then I... well then I'm probably going to hell
I think cutting a patient out of a owl costume is a first for those guys. It's a good story at least.
Is it just me, or do you see your penis in that hand?
You also proposed and then tried to jack me off
I want my tombstone to read "making poor life decisions since 1993"
Also this just in, I think you could see my sequins underwear that say unwrap me through my leggings all day while I hung out with his family
At first it will make you think "how is this physically possible?" and then it will ruin an entire food group for you.
He asked if I was alright. I said "Yeah, I'm just an incapacitated ball of orgasmic bliss right now."
How did you interpret 'wheat thins' from 'vaginal trauma'?
we can no longer cook chicken in the house. his name is herbert, we are keeping him and can not eat his people in front of him.
If my dildo had feelings, they. Would've deffinately been hurt. He put that toy to shame..
Randomize
