He is such a slut. More and more my type.
i don't have fun when you have fun. i have embarrassment, fear, and significantly less cash in my wallet.
totally poinked my lawyers daughter in his hot tub last night. i figure getting off is just compensation for not getting me off.
He came in asked for the bathroom and came out 10 minutes later dripping wet took his redbull and left.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Well, I'm eating cake, watching wedding videos of people I don't know, and crying. Clearly I'm a vision of mental health today
I just remember thinking that if i ran really fast through the house, no one would notice i was naked.
This is the last pregnancy scare i've had since i was 12 and i thought you could get pregnant from masturbating.
We made a bet that we had to talk like Yoda all night at the bars
10/10 dentists agree that he is one bangable mother fucker. hint: i am all of these dentists.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I woke up to half of the whiskey bottle gone, and apparently I showered in my clothes. Pretty good start to SB2015 I'd say?
I still can't believe that dog licked my nipple.
Tripping over coffee tables hurts shins but face is okay bc I landed on a sofa.
Drinking wine while working. Yay.
Just had sex at the YMCA.
We are so productive today.
Somehow I don't think offering me edibles is what dad meant by checking in on me
They're the hard candy kind!
I guess I’m only into threesomes at Halloween, because I just woke up next to “Marilyn Monroe” and “Joe DiMaggio” in their condo
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