He said he was from Mississippi and my vagina clamped shut like a frightened oyster
Sex on a kitchen table is not as amazing as they make is seem in the movies.
There are the 2 BIGGEST tools by me-- at our table. I hate them. But they're not ugly and I may make out with them later. And hate myself. Definitely hate myself.
Woke up to sesame street reruns and a $62 pizza bill. Never again. I mean it this time.
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We should make a goal to do one active thing a day, even if its like throwing a ball
And by ball i mean playing catch. Beer pong does not count as an activity
You just can't come from being "the girl who shit her pants."
My vagina was just really confused why you weren't inside it
My very favorite thing in the whole world is when guys try to booty call her as I'm fucking her. Sucks to suck.
Dude... I had a dream that I was getting high for the first time. I got to experience my weedginity again. It was glorious.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Because that's what you do with poop. You expect the worst.
You wanna see what happens when frozen corn meets an unhappy Andrew's face?
ICE CREAM AND CAKE BITCHESSSSSS
sarahs drunk and is drawing dinosaurs all over the apartment. should i stop her?
whats she drawing them with?
eyeliner
no that's ok
Last thing I remember at your house last night is your dad leaning on the beer pong table and saying "you guys can fucking party"
I’m not washing my pussy with handsoap.
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