The nice sales man at 711 gave me a handful of free lighters for buying a carton of cigarettes. I guess the depressed damsel in distress look works for me.
This went bad. Everyone is crying, i dont know why and I am really uncomfortable.
This isnt meant to be as creepy as it sounds, but do you seriously want a lock of the hair I cut off?
So not only did you shoot down my invitation and prob walked past my house but now ur excluding me from a wet t shirt contest which btw i totally would have won
you seemed to enjoy falling down hill
wow, never heard the last few months of my life put so succint
I have officially tracked lube all over our house on the bottom of my socks without knowing it. Don't slip when you come in
You know what would make the espn body photos even better? If anyone knew who any of those fucking athletes were. That, and maybe not feature Gary Player.
It looks like a baby bear tried to chew off my nipples.
He came to my Harry Potter marathon wearing a Hogwarts uniform. Of course I fucked him.
If she "comes out" to me I guess I'll high five her. That's pretty much my response to everything these days.
Pissing into the Grand Canyon is the single most liberating thing I've ever done in my entire life
Blowing a married man is so much more important than a 12 year olds basketball game.
I think we should have a sex position advent calendar
Then, even the devil himself would be scared of us. And we'd be bestfriends with Jesus. He would love us.
Love it. I wish you see me right now. I'm counting cash on my bed with no shirt on, beauty and the beast sound track on blast. Fucking creepin it up.
Randomize
