Hahahaha do you think bella ever gave edward head?
margarita scented body wash shouldn't be used the morning after cuervo. there should be a warning on the label.
Come 10 years my vagina won't look like this. I must cherish it
Responsibility does not care about your dick.
Just when I thought this night couldn't get any worse, my dad sang and dedicated Sexual Healing to me at kareoke night.
I'm already at the bar. It's 2 PM. Help
I tried to say goodbye but you were hugging a trash can and I wasn't sure if you had clothes on
When we were grinding I think your nuva ring fell into my shoe
Can't we have real sex instead of you just thrusting the air near me?
I just woke up in my locked bathroom. It's 5 PM. What happened?
If someone made a breakfast cereal that was a cross between lucky charms and fruity pebbles and called it unicorn power with a huge fucking rainbow and a unicorn standing in a pot of gold on the box, they would be rich. Not only monetarily but spiritually as well...
Why aren't you two playing Dora the explorer with each other's genitals yet?
I CALLED IT A FRIENDSHIP. NOT A I WANT YOUR MAN PARTS IN MY LADY PARTS-SHIP.
I COULD CUT A FUCKING DIAMOND WITH MY RIGHT NIPPLE RIGHT NOW HOLY FUCK
I am listening to my ipod while i puke, this is most entertaining hangover i have ever had.
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