I may be a little high but I'm pretty sure my alphabet soup has only Os in it
We call that spaghetti Os
Don't worry I'll hold the wheel while you cum
yeah...it smells like an asshole would smell if someone ate sewage.
can you please tell me why I'm bleeding so heavily from my ass and all my makeup is gone?
Now I have to picture Dave Letterman having sex with all these women. Im the real victim.
you know how i said i wouldn't send that pic message of your lofted bed falling from you fucking a fat chick? that was after i sent it to your mom
There's half of a squirrel in the bathtub - i figured you'd be the one to go to.
You dont lie about slip and slides
It's national boyfriend day supposedly, would it be appropriate if I posted a picture of my dildo?
His name sounds so important....sounds like the name of my future baby daddy to me.
Also bring a pizza or no entry to my vagina OR the fort.
Cheese only
Apparently I filled my purse with chicken nuggets and told my mom I was a "sexual squirrel."
Tequila is never to blame. We all make good choices under tequila
Found your brother. He was passed out in the tub holding a bottle of Shatto milk wearing nothing but his tighty-whities.
You really do take on your dog's personality she sounded like her pug breathing when we were going at it.
Randomize
