He is an equal opportunity slut.
drunk tastebuds have low standards.
Lmao. We just snorted some mystery powder uriah found packged up in my car, that i know has been in there almost a year... Its adventure time.
I am ina trunk. Iam in a trunnnnnjkk. I hope its yours. Oh manomanomano. Thids better be your trunk
It took him 5 seconds to cum and then he wanted to hold my hand all night
Make way for the handjob queen! She will grab what she wants, when she wants, and from whomever she wants.
It's always awkward in the office the day after your boss sends you a dick pic.
you told the police officer you wanted to be just like her one day but not a lesbian
Was having the best sex dream I've had in a while and only woke up when I heard my grandma fall down the stairs.
So high, just applauded for a magic trick on Hulu.
HAMMERED.. I made a peanut butter and jelly sandwich with toilet paper instead of bread...
Was reaching for my vibrator this morning out of my nightstand and strained my neck muscle. I'm getting so old.
When he said he lived in a closet I thought he meant his room was really small or something... But he actually has a queen size mattress on the floor of his roomates walk-in closet.
Ugh. All the good hoes are in their third trimester.
To potentially get me laid, I need you to send me your favorite memes.
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