Kroger has a sale on economy packs of some ridic brand of condom with a smiley devil heart on it $4.99 for 24
Sounds like a baby waitign to happen
i just google searched "what time does taco bell open"
I may be the first guy in history to get dome while watching An Extremely Goofy Movie.
I was hitting on her while she was puking ... yeah i was pretty drunk
You were competing with my dog to see who had the stronger bark....
He asked me if we could throw a lingerie party together so I guess he's single again
Okay, who took a picture of their pubes shaved into a dragon on my phone and made it the background?!
It is very possible that having sex with you just now just got me into Yale
It's no longer hooking up, we have definitely graduated to Sport Fucking....
its 3am and I'm taking a bubble bath, this is what taking a day off work at 30 looks like
All you have to drink is moonshine and ranch. This is bullshit.
Magyver!
test was negative. but nancy drew has yet to solve the case of the missing period.
All I remember thinking is, why the fuck are there martians on the ceiling? And they were riding fruit. Like strawberries and shit.
my favorite sex position is the one where no sex actually happens we just get really stoned and eat a lot and watch netflix in the dark
Fuck this pandemic. She grabbed the hand sanitizer instead of the hand lotion while giving me a hand job and now my dick is burning and scrotum are on fire
A hand job? Are you 12?
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