I want to make a zoo with you.
she's sitting on the other side of the room at this party. with her smirnoff tucked in that little opening between her cleavage and shirt. drinking from a straw. snapping her fingers off beat.
it's love
You burnt your salmon and tried to mail it. Post marked to: Starving Kid in Africa
Nobody is wearing shirts anymore. What is happening.
1 month til my stepdad becomes a u.s. citizen, so if you want to get in on the divorce pool its your last chance, $5 a square.
THE ALMIGHTY HAS FALLEN DRUNKENLY OFF HIS HIGH HORSE AND INTO HOLLY'S VAGINA
The doctor that gave me my std test is trying to hook me up with her daughter lol
My roommate just caught me cleaning a tostitos queso jar with my hand and eating it. He didn't judge. Bonding moment.
im glad im back to a point in my life where i have enough sex to sometimes be offered and be like naw im good.
Started my day with puking in a trash can.... Its gonna be a beautiful day
I'm only bisexual one week out of the month. Nothing like ovulation hormones to make the genders of my hookups seem completely irrelevant.
The dicks good but it's not two trains and a bus good.
I hate the cold months. Everybody starts hibernating and I start talking to guys I would never normally talk to. You have a drug habit and no license? Perfect candidate for a boyfriend...
Wow you are like a taller more attractive sex Yoda.
my grocery cart consisted of hershey bars, sour patch kids, starbursts, mayo, 4 frozen pizzas, 4 lunchables, and chips. clearly, i can't do this on my own.
Randomize
