He never called back after I emailed him my booty call contract.
his logic is that since hes already cheated on her w me its doesnt count
If one more person calls me a lesbian I am going to have to give you head in public.
So as she is about to take the walk of shame she flips out. Apparently someone left a brown present in her shoes.
I just followed a trail of feathers and glitter to class. Today better be fucking magical.
so, not only did she give him head while i was asleep next to them, apparently, it was bad head...
Are you serious?
yeah... as often as she does that, you'd think she'd be good at it...
So you have no knowledge as to why I am hearing loud repetitive mooing from next door?
i caught myself talking to a pigeon about my yeast infection.
just let her blow you already, it's practically animal cruelty at this point.
Then you jumped in the pool because your were convinced the scratches on your neck from the cat were gills and you could breathe underwater.
Did you fuck him in my garden last night?
That WOULD explain the dirt in my vagina
I'm attracted to him because he looks like the kind of guy who would lick my asshole without me having to ask.
It was an entirely appropriate time and place for sexual thoughts.
That doesn't make it ok to play by play me your honeymoon!
With each thrust he'd whisper "like a ninja." Should I be flattered or appalled?
And I mentioned the burning debate about your circumcision in my Christmas card to your mom.
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