What would you say if someone told you they liked your lips?
Which ones?
saw a man at the beach in a red speedo. when he rolled over he unintentionally displayed a HUGE skid mark.
Homecoming wouldn't be the same without all the drunk old people puking on the street.
and then some norwegians asked us to be in their porno.
You disinfected one of his friends, buttered the jeans of the other one. And you poured every liquid you could reach on the floor, including cooking oil and green tea. It wasnt a great first impression
And the clouds opened up and the sex gods said I hate you alfalfa
I need a Xanax. A Veggie Delight. And exhibition style sex.
She suggested that I come visit her in Europe and hook up with the heteroflexible Korean who sits next to her in class. Polylove is the best love.
we're a generation of lazy underachieving stoners and uncreative overachieving automatons. you're golden
No man we're leaving now. The party will probably be busted soon. O and a bitch started throwing knives around the place, like real actual knives.
I gave him the white girl "you spilled my psl look" and walked away
I remember walking into a bathroom stall that had a couple fucking in it and giving them a condom and a thumbs up and then leaving
roommate singing save a horse ride a cowboy wearing a cowboy hat a bikini and jeans while humping the couch.
Don't worry. I have logic.... just not morals.
Dude, she was there with her husband and I was there with my wife. Of course we banged in the bathroom.
Randomize
