I gotta feeling the economic climate has killed the housewife market
I need to take "lollipop" off of every single one of my playlists cause it makes me wanna suck dick.
she's not even a shacker, she never made it inside. she's just a porch girl
Totally about to meet up with Ryan in an empty parking lot. Expect to fuck him. Yes I know it's 3am. Slutty? Possibly. Excited? Damn right.
keep it on the DL tho cause i dont want it getting out and it coming off like i kidnapped her or something
You have to understand, this is the first time I'm looking at a whopper sober.
He just helps fat girls get exercise. One walk of shame at a time.
There is a 15" subwoofer mounted inside our fridge. I've never been more proud of myself.
I imagine I kinda look like a banana with one boob out.
Does the room smell any better?
Yeah, i sprayed perfume. It smells like Victoria's Secret, if Victoria's secret was that she was homeless.
You must have my penis confused with someone else's...which is disappointing
I rewarded myself with Taco Bell tonight for going a full week without punching my roommates in the face or wishing bodily harm on them.
When your job has killed your spirit to the point that you don't want to flirt with the cute, tall guy at Enterprise
GIRL PLEASE. GO BACK AND POP THE TITTY OUT
I was so drunk I got stuck in the middle of a revolving door
Our fake lesbian relationship is better than her real relationship. Bitch be jealous
Randomize
