But do you think a lot of ppl use facebook as a masturbation supplement to porn?
Let me make clear that I am not a facebook masturbator
Just fell off a train. Bad.
she said it was okay because they were "professional" nude pictures of her on the internet
i just ate two sandwiches and am debating booty calling my landlord
The manager of the bar we were at the night before came to my house today giving me coupons. Apperently you and i won karaoke night which is a prize of 300 beer dollars. No idea what beer dollars means nor do i have any memory of doing karaoke but lets go back tonight.
They had an entire room dedicated to passed out people. It was like a dogpile of cross faded toddlers drooling on each other.
Dude, you bit through my nipple. Give it a week, damn.
Day #3 of being the only sober person at the bar. This is depression.
What was the name of that place where we saw that concert? It was like a warehouse and some guy was living in the loft above the stage...
It's called: a legit place to drop acid.
After he finished he proceeded to check my boobs for breast cancer.
THERE IS AN ENORMOUS FAT WOMAN EYEING MY FLIGHT'S GATE LIKE IT WOULD BE DELICIOUS TO EAT.
I told you, I'm taking a sledgehammer to your walls. Fuck your walls.
I'm Batman.
The fact that you screamed, "Alf is my spirit animal!" is proof enough that we're too old for peyote.
Pretty sure we're going to get a cease & desist notice from the Make A Wish Foundation, but until then...
No one should have to go to work between Christmas and New Years, but here I am twirling in my office chair and putting Jack in my coffee like I’m back in college studying for finals.
Randomize
