Lol speaking of weird...he just sent me a naked pic of himself that said "meow" at the bottom.
I'm half bulimic - I binge but forget to purge
Umm you don't wanna know how many "I'm sorry for calling you last night" fb wallposts I just had to write...
she is using a fork to eat popcorn and refuses to drink gatorade out of anything but a margarita glass... did i mention the popcorn is on a plate?
the last time i saw him was an hour he was floating face down in a pool... but i'm sure he's fine.
Dude, she told me she wanted to bang my dad. I don't know which is worse, the fact that she wants to or the fact that she told me.
Pillow talk just revealed that he originally thought I was 16.
Just had the best random sex ever with a girl I picked up from a pro choice rally uptown. God bless the Democratic National Convention.
151 hangover. Need apocalypse.
No lie. I was hooking up with a former football player at UT and mid-hookup I yelled "I'M FRATERNIZING WITH THE ENEMY"
my vagina is like this close to growling at me and leading me onto the nearest dance floor
make it buy you a drink first
WAKE THE EFF UP THE UBER DRIVER IS TRYING TO TAKE ME HOME
You rinsed the beer pong ball off in my White Russian
I won the 'drunkest person at a family event' award tonight.
Recliner chair sex has moments of worry....just don't.
Randomize
