I'm talking handstands, sex in broad daylight, waking me up in the middle of the night. CRAZY
handstands? WTF?
she was a gymnast
go to hell.
U r making out with a 12 year old get ur shit together
I'll write directions out on a napkin and slip it to him. Then say P.S. The UTI is gone.... that's not creepy at all right?
I never thought I would get head to the lion king soundtrack
no i had to finish in the bathroom to a pic of her mom in a bikini.
UPDATE: lighting the grill with Bacardi. Haven't slept. Forgot the hamburger buns. Almost out of our eighth handle.
Nothing like buying a handle and a 36 pack with a baby strapped on.
I think drinking everclear was a better idea than taking a night class.
High Amy loves you. Sober Amy is unsure, but she's not here so fuck that bitch.
I have a third degree burn on my inner thigh from the blunt dropping on me in the car
I woke up with broken tostitos all over my bed and a snap chat of myself flipping off the camera.
He told me he needed "space" but then goes and likes my insta of panacakes.. Done.
what do u think we would be doing right now if we were together
Urinating on unicorns
only i would get cock blocked by a cop
its a comptetion of fuckups and im HERE TO WIN
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