He yelled GOOOOAAAALLL when he came.
I'm so glad you managed to take a picture of your foreskin before you broke my camera.
I'm getting the same feeling waiting for the web-page to load that has my final grades that I get when I take a pregnancy test. I think I'm gonna leave my computer for 3 minutes.
I'll tell you what, we couldn't have asked for better binge-drinking weather.
Ive been using palmolive to shower with for he last week, dont tell me about not having money. Im heading to the bar r u going.
It's all sex hats and vagina bandages with you isn't it?
Medically speaking as your gynecologist and your girlfriend, that is not a rash.
And we're breaking up
I said "I am wrapped in the Cocoon Of Comfort! You should go." He started to argue and I yelled "COCOON OF COMFORT!!!" silencing him
I just realized that in 3 weeks it becomes sad if I make everything into a drinking game. Fuck growing up
I actually had to apologize for "being too aggressive about harry potter"
You're the air beneath my wings and the lookout when I pee
I took a picture of you last night while you were drunk, trying to smoke a bowl through your nose. It's now your contact id.
I’m honestly just flattered that you think I could make PornHub’s Top 10.
Just saw a commercial for non alcoholic baileys cream. WHAT THE HELL IS THE POINT?!
My shower turned into a bath, turned into me lying on the shower floor with the water running over me... That hung over..
Randomize
