so i told him i still liked him. he laughed
well, your crazy. what did you expect?
during a bj, his alarm went off and he said "At the buzzer"
If it's not soft enough to fuck on, then we're not getting the new rug.
Please don't be alarmed by the blood on my arms and phone in the morning. It's not mine.
If I take diet pills with my edibles I'll be a perfect person
I'll just be sleeping in this laundry room. Come get me at bar close.
Filthy. I need to be power hosed with holy water.
I just ordered 30 klonopins from India that could probably be anything from Viagra to Midol. You need to find another friend to get advice from right now
I just need to drink whiskey get off and eat some cheese. Why is that so fucking hard for god to deliver.
He kept telling me that it stood for Sex Utility Vehicle
so you 69ed him in the parking lot of your apartment
yah I won't allow him in my apartment
Guess who has two thumbs and broke her boyfriends dick?
YOURE A FUCKING ADULT. DONT TELL ME ITS PAST YOUR BEDTIME WHEN I WANT TO GET ANOTHER COCKTAIL.
My cat is watching me play with my new vibrator
i left you alone for two hours TWO HOURS & when i got back i had to rush you to the hospital because you were covered in Smooth Away pads & drinking the bong water..
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