I was about to buy asher roth's album and then i realized he was a ginger. can't support
Consumer Beware: Redhead has herpes.
i'm going to be one of those im-wearing-a-shirt-as-a-dress girls today. dont make fun of me, i need laid
I actually kind of like the booze poos. It's like a colon cleanse. I feel skinnier.
hot doctor. gonna get him to touch my tits. 'think i felt a lump' excuse in 3-2-1...
I think I just accidentally agreed to become a surrogate for a gay couple
After she cried and passed out at four in the morning, I had a very lovely, very drunken conversation with her mother while decorating a cake into the shape of a penis.
My vag has a bald spot. That is so middle aged. Is this my midlife crisis?
Want to know what makes for a better story than treehouse sex? Getting busted during treehouse sex
What's it called where you go to the stripclub with two guys that have both gone down on you...
Tuesday
I COULD BREAK CONCRETE WITH MY FOOTBALL ERECTION.
and it's like......my shirt is off and he's talking about quidditch. why.
Having sex with him is like eating mayo. Don't think about it, just do it. It's worth it.
Did anyone see us fucking last night on the giant turtle outside downtown Disney?
I picked up a towel, and butt beads fell out of it.
Oh yeah... Surprise!
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