so all night Ive been that girl with her tits out @ the bar. I mean I dropped jaws, yo. But in a classy way.
Weirdest conversation with my dad. He just told me he didn't shave his pubes.
Is it wrong that im more embaressed about the karoke than the toplessness?
Shut up. It sucks being the ugly friend, I would know, but someones gotta play the role
5th glass of wine. There's pictures of Jesus everywhere. It's like you're constantly reminded of your sins here.
Well I could just do a roadtrip and hit them all. Slut tour 2012.
1) I'm a decent drunk texter. 2) My world is spinning. 3) I'll give you a dollar and a hug for a glass of water. 4) I love you. 5) Example: your penatrive ways are overwhelming my alternative lyfestyle. 6) That is all.
7) Noodle arms: engage
The example was me just using big words while hammered. You're welcome. Ambidextrious. I spelled it right.
He's talking about me being Slave Princess Leia and how he'll chain me up. I don't have the heart to point out that he would be Jabba in that scenario...Is it bad that his lack of SW knowledge is destroying my lady boner?
Pregnancy test = positive. Hope you still have our old guess who game 'cause daddy elimination begins now.
The house hit rave levels when La Bamba came on which confuses me because I live in white suburban Canada
PARA BAILAR LA BAMBA ASSHOLES
And one groomsman rode a suitcase cart like a skateboard until he crashed and took out a piece of sheet rock. Later he pulled out his nuts.
Who's the naked guy asleep in your car?
Last time I "ran into him" I ended up with the clap and had to explain why the ladder was missing from the garage.
AND I NEED A VIKING FUNERAL OR MY GHOST ASS WILL SAUNTER ON OVER AND CASTRATE HIM FOR TECHNICALLY MURDERING ME
I don't think it's a coincidence that the day I just happen to do the splits at the gym I come back with 7 guys' phone numbers.
Randomize
