You know if a vagina was a face, it'd be ugly as hell...
if you count grabbing my crotch as an introduction then yeah i got a couple of those tonight
Just heard an advertisement for 40 proof chocolate milk. We may never have to grow up
I have hooked up with someone in EVERYONE OF MY CLASSES.
That's how you know you deserve to be a senior
i just feel like the statute of limitations for admitting i plowed through her car last night was up a couple hours ago
He knew exactly who I'd slept with after just one look at my crotch. He's like the Sherlock Holmes of cocks.
I'm like five sips away from making a Craigslist post for true love and mustaches. My family is going to disown me tonight.
Your text makes more sense read in reverse.
We're like a dynamic duo.
Bisexual and Proud, Lesbian and Loud.
Have you ever just like not slept in so long that everything looks like a lava lamp?
The fact that you screamed, "Alf is my spirit animal!" is proof enough that we're too old for peyote.
She was giving me head, and a cop pulled up next to us. I freaked when he looked over at me, but so did he and rear ended the car in front of him.
I'm in the Sheetz parking lot waiting for dad to finish a drug deal.
I just talked comic books with a cop. We high-fived as he was running my name.
Proud of you.
We discussed the legality of being a vigilante. I won.
Imp drunk. It'd free popcorn tuedday I love life.
Randomize
