I don't wanna hook up with anyone from minnesota
everybody there reminds me of mashed potatoes... white and lumpy
this crazy girl in up in Dennys is going crazy because Bob Saget just texted her.
laughing at 16 and pregnant while fucking w/o a condom....
i always knew you were classy
It's like a mixture of two words
"town" and "Im too drunk to spell right now"
Our dealer is pledging my frat. When he come to sell me weed I make him take out the garbage.
So getting a bj to I believe I can fly is one of the greatest things ever
Agreed. And i highly doubt it could be awkward. You do remember our introduction was a direct result of you mentioning your affinity for my genitals, right?
I accidentally KO'd a baby in the airport. Thought you should know.
No lie. I was hooking up with a former football player at UT and mid-hookup I yelled "I'M FRATERNIZING WITH THE ENEMY"
The site I use to study flash cards keeps showing ads for truck companies hiring drivers. It's like the site is saying "hey, we all know there's no hope for you, just give up and Become a truck driver."
Frankly, since I met you, I practically exist in a state of constant readiness for sex
Enough talk of my burning loins. How is your day?
I JUST WOKE UP WITH MY UBER DRIVER
I'm sorry about the spring break comment. I won't make anymore pornos, I promise.
Rain drop, shock top, drinking can't stop stop
Randomize
