That chick was all over your bacon last night, grinding on you, I thought you were going to bang her in the club
Dude it was a lap dance
i just cleaned out my toilet because i knew that my head would be in it later
STOP fucking him and come play in the snow with us!
stop texting me from phones in the verizon store and pretending to be guys i talked to when i was drunk. its confusing.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
it was like having sex with a tree stump
So he might be the smartest man alive. He had the stripper pick him up taco bell on the way to the room for an extra 50 bucks.
just threw up what i'm pretty sure look like contents of a lava lamp
I wish they'd wear their tampons on the outside. At least gimme some warning
Oh shut up man. Once the police get involved its every man for themself.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
i ordered a pipe on amazon, and under recommended items, it gave me a top hat. it knows me better than my parents.
On my way, five mins. Is the line long? Do you think they will they hold a pumpkin at coat check?
Chicks, chicks everywhere, and not a drop to drink. Dude, when did real life lesbians get HOT?
You haven't lived until you've thrown up naked in a hotel room in Fargo while holding your breasts so they don't touch the toilet bowl.
I brought her cheeseburgers and tequila but she's still mad at me.
My vagina measures dicks. It's accurate to the half inch.
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