Is that you in the white hat?
Fine suit yourself
you always know who the new freshman are on fb because theyre always wearing prom dresses
Can someone please explain to me why I woke up looking like Ziggy Stardust
yeah, and when i walked in on them fucking he said "go away, i'm making sons."
Was this before, or after you took my brand new bag of shredded cheese, and "Made it rain"?
Tonight was the second time that I've pretended like English was my 2nd language to avoid conversation w a creeper.
I must have some kind of deep rooted instinct that tells me when a boys virginity needs to be taken.
He added his name to my To Do list. That's the way to my Type A heart.
I'm not even pretending to study anymore. I'm straight up sleeping in the library
5 hours of volunteer work playing with puppies and banned from the frat I hate most as 'punishment'... Besides the ER trip, I'm not seeing the bad in this situation
You've hit rock bottom, swam around the ocean floor, and brought back silverware from the titanic.
Woke up at my x's house. He said I talked about how much I love panda's for fourty five minutes. Then made him watch The Little Mermaid with me. Made the walk of shame infront of his mom. Things can only really go up from here.
Wait till you get home.
stop texting me about your public sex.
says she who narrated getting eaten out in a movie theatre over text to me
You took a bite of the snack wrap put it down and fell asleep and when you woke up ten minutes later you asked how it got there, dipped it in soda ate it and fell back asleep.
I'm naked, eating straight Nutella, and listening to "Make you feel my love" on repeat. So no. He didn't ask me out.
Randomize
