Just met a guy who has been in college for 7 years and still classified as a junior. Then watched him shotgun 10 beers. Found my new hero
Apparently 151 is to me what spinach is to popeye.
She has 260 profile pics. In 260 she's ugly and in 255, she's making the peace sign with her hands...
Just got my econometrics book in the mail and started flipping through it. Our Thursday parties may turn into u convincing me not to kill myself.
I did my dad and i had to keep going back there to pick up coffee
please read the first 4 words of that text and consider punctuation
Dude, everyone in your family has slept with that girl. Her vagina is like the Hindu version of a Bar Mitzvah.
i'm just going to get a pitcher of margarita. sober up by 10. and then do my accounting project
You almost make it sound as if getting an education to further your career is more important than beer and tacos.
The girl that works the front desk at my gym invited me and my friend to come see her Tuesday during her shift at hooters because its her birthday. I still have a boner
You ever just wake up and decide, today I'm going to eat a whole bag of fritos and a tub of cream cheese
I like that you're Jewish, because you can rail me on Christmas Eve and it won't be weird.
Look,the guy had sex w/a Canadian prison guard on the deck of a cruise ship,he could blow any second.
I couldn't read the menu. I ordered the first thing I was able to read. Don't think I ate anything. Left $20 on the table.
Are we gonna talk about that cunnilingus snap
So let me get this straight I was getting drunk with our science teacher from high school and you got drunk with an 82 year old woman who invited you back to her house and made you sandwiches.
Yes.
Randomize
