I hope you get the herp and dife. The emd.
she offered me iced tea and went to go change.then her dad came in the door.i thought i was on how to catch a predator.
i woke up under my mattress pad with him laying naked next to me and his wwjd bracelet on my nightstand.
nice, that's exactly what jesus would do.
Just met a girl...She is complaining why on facebook you can't have more then one "open relationship"
I dont know how i feel about her from a moral standpoint...
On the quad today: An amish choir singing something weird, and not 30 feet away 3 girls tanning topless. Definition of diversity.
I fell asleep with my vibrator still in me. I am the Queen of Sad Masturbation.
My Pizza Lunchables won't fit in the fridge because of all your alcohol. One of our addictions has to give.
I deem it safe for us to drink together again.
They dropped the charges?
Yeppers. Come drink beers.
I understand why they say don't drink the water in Mexico... I just saw 5 guys piss upstream of where the bar tender went to get the water
HELP THE ONLY THING THAT'S HELPING ME DISTINGUISH BETWEEN THE TWO OF THEM IS THE DIRECTION OF THEIR WINKY FACES OMFG
I posted her number in the m4m casual encounters area of Craigslist.
I guess her always saying "gay men love me!" will finally get put to the test.
Walked in on my roommate covering his dick in blue frosting. Am staying with my folks for the Forth. See you Monday if the brain bleach works.
I may or may not have hooked up with the cop who arrested me.. Or I can cross hooking up with a stripper in a cop outfit off my bucket list.
We'll get you some ice cream, but no sprinkles. Sprinkles are for winners.
I love the barter system - he got laid and I got him to bring me some ibuprofen. A win-win really.
Randomize
