he conducted the entire waffle house into singing the song Oklahoma. He was wasted.
You tired to make Beefaroni in the Mr. Coffee machine.
i was so drunk i stopped mid-blowjob to make sure he i was with my boyfriend and not some random. twice.
Can we have fireworks this year or will the ocean explode?
I saw him on the jumbotron, its like god doesnt want me to forget his tiny penis
She said she couldn't sleep with a guy who had blood stains on his ceiling. I tried to explain it wasn't my blood, but she still left :(
How much morphine is too much? Keep in mind that I'm going to my graduation dinner with my parents.
He better not be in your backpack
The typical response to someone smacking their vodka soaked hand on your face is not to put your face in their crotch
He forehead kissed me AND THEN asked what I was thinking. I'm taking away his man card.
We shared a dick. We're practically sisters!
How do u ask ur friend if shes keeping her kid but in a chill way
You ate my ass why wouldn't I remember you
Can you get an STD by sharing underwear? Walk of shamed home and realized I was wearing someone else’s panties
No one knows. This doesn’t happen to normal people.
I just sharted for the first time in my life. Age 33. Lying in bed. Sober. 2021 is off to a great start!
Randomize
