dude this 15 year old girl saw our youtube vid and just facebook messaged me saying i was verry verry pretty. i have no schemas for how to respond to this situation.
woah 15?
i know! what is this dateline?
next person that tells me Facebook is a professional tool is getting kicked in the teeth.
How much explanation does bbqsexapalooza need?
Mother fucker. I'm a 30J now. I'm fucking speechless
It was sunday, you had a camel back of bloody mary stumbling around a dog park with no dog.
Damn, it's been so long since I had sex I could use the cobwebs from my vagina to decorate for Halloween.
I'm about to do the walk of shame in a christmas onesie. What would I do without christmas sweater party season?
Annnnddddd this chick is using a hand puppet made of a sock to give her research presentation...
Very excited! Vodka will be shot, dicks will be ridden, and memories made.
She just lifted up her dress, screamed "This is gonna be a good one!" And pissed on the pole...
I'm actually not sure I need to run today, between the crazy monkey sex and breaking into my own house.
I went full Overly Attached Girlfriend. You never go full OAG.
CODE RED CODE RED MY VIBRATOR IS BROKEN THIS IS NOT A DRILL
I needed to pee, so I climbed out his window
Can't we just go back to fucking and having your boyfriend think you're completely straight?
Randomize