I just got really nervous and swallowed all of my birth control
No, we just ended up walking around in his pool high and singing songs by The Wiggles.
she was dressed as a doctor claiming that after she was done i would have a "permaboner"
I see you felt the need to carve your name in my kitchen table. thanks
I Think it is all interconnected. Emma caused most of the nakedness
well at that point we were just fucking to keep warm.
Everything was good until you pulled the bartenders hair because she cut you off
He's got a southern drawl and a lisp. I'm getting mindfucked right now.
I'm sorry but I have WAY too many sex/ hookup related bruises on visible areas to be going home tmrw
Dude the tree smoked with me. I planted the roach with it and smiled.
we're a generation of lazy underachieving stoners and uncreative overachieving automatons. you're golden
Just made a drunk dude do 20 push-ups. In the parking lot of the bar tonight for a keystone light I found in the back of my truck.
Oh yum
Will you be doing the frenzied booty dance of passionate ownage on my penis tonight
Just fell down the stairs..might wanna call the ambulance jus take the weed out of my pocket be4 they come..
Do thigh high boots and a ball gag count as a costume?
Randomize
