i just turned barefoot contessa into a drinking game. everytime she uses a knife butter or salt i drink.
just friend requested my arresting officer from last night. too soon??
Second night spent with creepy guy. I either need to change his nickname or stop doing this.
Pitchers of shots should be outlawed. I've puked more than i've breathed in the past half hour.
Well see how he likes it when I randomly start crying and saying my dads name during sex I WILL RUIN ALL HIS FUTURE BONERS
Bro, she used the potato bongs to make French fries after. She's deff a keeper.
I don't have patience to seek someone out and try to decipher whether or not I think I'd want to actually have their dick in my face.
I was so high I told him we should rub faces and pretend to be wombats. He was surprisingly enthusiastic about it.
How many tongue depressors should I need to steal from urgent care to make samurai armor?
Doing 9 month old dishes in my bath tub. These dishes literally had enough time to gestate a human child
Do you ever just feel like you can feel hormones radiating from your uterus?
Youre having a picnic
Yeah but all we have is vodka, so it's getting a bit out of hand.
You're best friend just tackled me....naked....brought me to his room where he had freshly baked cinnamon rolls. I didn't know he could cook
Apparently, Lolla sends you an email every time you use your wristband to buy a beer.
21 new emails...yikes
Crop dusting thru forever 21
Randomize
