I drank enough to make her look pretty . . It worked and i threw up while going at it
I'll never ask another girl to get on top again, that girl from the bar last night got on top and shit diareah all over my ball sack while she was cumming.
We learned a valuable lesson from last night. You can, in fact, order bacon on a Big Mac.
She went off on a twilight/new moon tangent before we even got back to my room. i had to jump the ship and pretended to pass out on the sidewalk.
apparently my insurance doesn't cover road head. Bummer.
I know everyone screamed lady cop instead of cops. I wanted to apologize to her for our chauvinism
I legit had to pull him off my car. Then he texted me saying 'take me places.' Shotgun getting that drunk tonight
I need to stop smoking. I just talked to corn.
I'll just be here. Naked. Eating tots and jello like a muh fuggin G
Update: that felon in Georgia I slept with is now a police officer. What a wonderful world
all night she kept rolling over and mumbling something about wanting an extendable retractable urethra.
he fell asleep naked and all I'm doing is staring at his weird balls
I'm no doctor but I don't think balls are supposed to look like that.
I woke up in the bathroom clutching a stuffed shark. My night was fantastic, thanks for asking.
It's routine now. He comes home from work and i ride him like a cowgirl with only a few sips of wine. I love being his neighbor.
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