I'm sitting the next couple hours out. Puking in a potted plant really put shit into perspective for me.
I feel like I just rode a horse, did a million jumping jacks, ran a marathon and need a carton on cigarettes. best sex hands down... EVER
Every shot buddy I have I end up blowing. I don't know whether this pattern is good or bad.
I just listened to "Eye of the Tiger" and did 5 shots to prep going over to see him.
I got a letter from the home owners association saying its against policy to have sex on the trampoline.
I didn't want to but I was drunk in a Disney bathroom with her and had a weak moment.
I just realized I haven't got laid since the last time the Browns won.
You're an independent woman who is defined by her own actions and not by whether or not you have a man. You also have great tits.
I can recall having this conversation with a three year old, but go on
She just asked me if I was going to stay the night. I responded "I know that we are upside down".
it was cool until he whispered 'sounds like you need a good dicking' with a completely serious face and i just lost it
I fell into the fireplace. That is a pretty good sign to stop drinking fireball
He told me to keep watching the Grammys and then went down on me.. I think I'm in love.
Having random cyber sex while watching to catch a predator just seems wrong.
help. his tongue is stuck. Its not what you think. Hurry.
Randomize
