I'm proud of us, I'm cleaning up the place and I haven't found a single beer can that isn't empty.
i can tell by the sound of your bed that he isnt that good at sex.
george bush was a better president for first pitches than barack obama. there. i said it.
Dude. My sister is off limits. Touch her again and I'll rip off your dick and force feed it to you.
I accept this challenge.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Please tell me that text was part of your elaborate Brett Favre costume; otherwise, dude, wtf?
I rode on his Vespa around Florence and fucked him in an empty train. It was like a way sluttier version of Lizzy McGuire
We enjoyed our moment of partial gayness together
once again, we need to groom him to be a better human being. using liquor and tits.
So update from last night: I made friends with a coke dealer, I tore the card scanner off the wall of my dorm, and I passed out on our bathroom counter with my head in the sink.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Fucked her on the patio while some dude drove by on a mower. He waved. Twice.
My mother is even happier about me having a sugar daddy than I am
Apparently I showed all your grooms men my vagina to prove I did not have underwear on. Awesome
I helped you wax your vagina and you won't even get me Corn Nuts you fucking bitch?
It's really life affirming to be at a wedding thinking wow I took your husbands virginity
Today has been hell. Also I saw a dead man's penis. It's safe to say I will be getting very drunk tonight.
Randomize