Whenever ur ready we need breakfast and a psychic.
i think our first tip to leave should have been when we saw the drinks were coming out of a gas can
For the record, a bath beer is far superior to a shower beer...
i need to know the scientific term for a guy's taint so i can explain what i did last night.
theyre doing DJ Khaled impressions again...
Being a responsible DD does not include attempting to coordinate a 4 taxi caravan to bar #3
they arrested me when i was peaking, i'm pretty sure they were specifically looking for me but i was too busy rolling around, loving the grass to notice the police car..
Side note, we are 25 fighting over our sophmore year RAs Drunk facebook attention
WHY DO YOU ALWAYS PUT THE PLUG IN THE SINK BEFORE YOU PUKE IN IT
i spent my morning giving relationship advice to the kid i had sex with on a kitchen table this weekend
IM WEARING A FLAG
So that's a no to the clothes then
FLAG
I swear to god, my hangover cure is a green tea and a 15 minute twerkout. works every time
I need ecstasy. And, before you ask, the answer is yes right now
Did you fill my inhaler with tequila?
Yeah, so?
Just to clear things up, yes you did lick the strippers butt
Randomize