i was just lookin through my fb pics and i think im with a cat in like 40% of them..: how sad is my life
I wonder if i passed any courses from last semester
Note to self: Don't teach the naked lap rule in beer pong until after youve made a cup..
Then, he just started shoving orange pieces in my mouth as a chaser
it is entirely possible that the police will be knocking on the door in 25 minutes
And in my birthday dress, with my friends, i peed on myself in line for the club. Still went in and partied. I remember pieces
No, I left myself a half eaten cucumber and a beer next to my head, pointed at it and said 'you're breakfast' and then passed out.
He changed his profile picture to him as a baby. Definitely a turn off. This will help in my "don't-be-a-slut-endeavors"
the evidence from last night is not good...
what evidence?
my underwear is on inside out, and there are french fries in my hair...
My professor laid down on the floor and told us a story that involved being naked covered in Vaseline with a pumpkin on your head. No lie. This is going to be a great semester.
Do you think if i wear this shirt with my bengals boxers this kid will fall out of love with me a little bit because that's what I was going for.
She's like a solid nine. Well maybe not a tomorrow morning nine, but she's a nine right now and trying to take me home.
Is it customary to send a 'thank you card'to someone who gave you awesome oral as a gift at your housewarming party?
We are best friends because we can vomit simultaneously in the same toilet and not care
So this is what bad decisions tastes like...
Randomize
