I want to poop on a bird, just to show them what it's like.
underwater hpnotiq shots? sure why not.
i was drinking at the bar last night with a guy with no bottom teeth, wearing zubas and a polka dotted hat. if that isn't the definition of wisconsin, i dont know what is
He threw up the X he took like 30min before then when we thought his antics were over... BOOM! He tried to pee out a light he was holding.
I think it may of been me pulling down my pants is why she walked away.
Some poor guy found you passed out in a bathroom stall. Again with your dick out. Looks like you got to rage after all.
I'm so hungover it hurts to blink.. oh sweet merciful Christ what have I done
I wore pigtails while I was having sex with that 22 year old just to make him feel like a pedophile.
Any recommendations for how to tell your wife about the pics of her 19 yr old sister on a porn site without admitting you were surfing said porn site?
You couldn't even walk but you came into the kitchen with the funnel and begged me to put beer in it
What's Spanish for "I shouldn't have worn these underwear to work?"
Vodka Vensday. With a Russian accent... It counts.
Reminding you of hookups your brain is trying to suppress. That's what friends are fooooooooor...
Dude in the stall next to me shitting and sobbing. Dude another stall over, "Come on bro, you gotta loosen up." This is why I don't shit in public.
Its official, kitchen-couch is my favorite.
You passed out again didn't you?
its likely that this occurred.
Randomize
