I woke up naked in my living room and my mom was next to me like we need to talk
Should I text him? Life is confusing when you actually like someone instead of just wanting to blow them.
it's gonna be a chat room kind of night
after a few more beers I realized that both my wife and I like Latin men.
Someone just uploaded pictures on facebook of you making out with random girls. I'm telling you because I'm assuming you don't remember anything, but the 236 pictures in the album should give you a good clue.
the size of his penis is telling me NOOO! but his bank account is telling me YESSS!
just tried googling 24 hr taco bell and when i typed "24 hour" it autocompleted with fitness. buzzzz killllll
Hey.. Here's a thought for the evening. There's only two more sleeps until I fuck you so hard my back teeth will convulse.. Here's too Tuesday! Woohooooo
I feel like ass. I'm missing 12 hours of my life and all I have to show for it is an empty wendys bag. Those Shrooms were too much... When do we do it again?
No one parties like Jon. He once stole a cops hat, ran like the wind, partied all night with it, and dropped it off at the station the next day with a box of donuts as an appology.
So the next three days will be henceforth known as the 'celebration of the end of the most irresponsible years of my life' be prepared to wake up naked in a ditch.
No, the moral of my Oxford interview was "Never snort caffeine pills".
Killing two birds with one stone tonight: mastrabation meditation. Win win.
drunk me always erases text conversations because she is a woman of mystery and does not like for me to know what's going on in her life
Do you think the hole in the ceiling will count against our security deposit?
Randomize
